Could Donald Trump Have Served in the US Armed Forces?

Despite the controversial political figure that Donald Trump is, a curiosity arises: which branch of the US Armed Forces could he have joined, and how would his professional and personal qualities have affected his service?

Ancient Speculations and Lessons in Spartan Leadership

If, by some miracle, second Lieutenant Donald Trump’s bone spurs had healed and he landed in Vietnam as an infantry platoon leader, the outcome would have been grim. His inexperience, incompetence, and questionable ethics would have surely led to a disastrous end. Truman, as he would be dubbed, performed a platoon’s worth of duties haphazardly. He would have likely encountered his first patrol within an infantry unit, but his timid nature and lack of leadership could have put his team in grave danger. The US Army would not have been so forgiving to such a prospect, and his shenanigans would have only amounted to serious consequences. His basic incompetence would likely have led to his betrayal and subsequent court-martial for treason.

A More Humorous Speculation

Beyond the harsh realities, we can indulge in a more whimsical view. Maybe the Salvation Army! Seriously, Donald Trump's moral unsuitability for public service is unmistakable. Even before his rise to prominence, his capacity for handling high-stress situations and his implausible belief systems make him better suited for a desk job or, as a joke, perhaps the Salvation Army.

A Civilian’s Perspective on Military Applicability

Somebody who has lived nearby and observed the Trump family's work before their notoriety suggests the US Air Force as the most likely fit. His educational background would have earned him a Sub-Lieutenant rank. Placed in an air combat situation, his inexperience and tendencies, however, would have placed him in the crosshairs of a variety of reasons, often cowardice or incompetence, risking the safety of his teammates.

Laughable Proposals

One could easily imagine him in the 82nd Fast Food Battalion or a catering corps, where his most valuable contribution would be preparing and serving food to the troops. His cringe-worthy financial illiteracy would likely cost him the lives of those under his command, making him the best candidate for a desk job or, once again, the Salvation Army, volunteering in a cause for which he aligns.

Conclusion

In the end, our speculation renders a scenario that is both ironic and tragic. Donald Trump, regardless of his military branch, would likely have faced severe, if not fatal, consequences due to his self-destructive tendencies. However, it’s also a reminder of how important proper military training and selection processes are in ensuring the safety and success of military operations.

Keywords: Donald Trump, US Armed Forces, Military Service