Is Narcissism as Extreme as Sam Vaknin Describes? A Comparison to Artificial Intelligence

Sam Vaknin's comparison of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with artificial intelligence (AI) raises some fascinating questions. He portrays NPD and AI as similar in their inability to feel, drawing parallels that some might find extreme. In this article, we'll explore why this comparison might be considered extreme and examine the nuanced reality of narcissistic traits.

Comparing Narcissists to AI: Perma-Rage and Self-Pity

Vaknin's description of narcissists as walking in a constant state of rage and self-pity may paint a picture that is indeed extreme. It's essential to distinguish between a person's behavior and a well-researched concept like NPD.

Unless AI has advanced significantly, its behavior is devoid of feelings, emotions, and consciousness. In contrast, narcissists are humans—emotional creatures with complex personalities. While they may exhibit grandiose self-importance and a complete lack of empathy, portraying them as walking emotional robots may not fully capture the depth of their psychological complexity.

Vaknin's View on Narcissism

Sam Vaknin is a controversial figure, and his views on narcissism come across as extremely critical. While I don't know him personally, his descriptions and theories suggest someone on the extreme end of the spectrum of narcissistic traits. His portrayal of his own condition as malignant narcissism (a subtype of NPD) is a clear indication of his self-awareness and experience.

However, it's worth noting that most people known to me as narcissists are not as self-aware or extreme as Vaknin describes. Many narcissists are more covert in their behavior, and their self-awareness can vary greatly. For instance, Babiak and Hare suggest that many narcissists are not entirely self-aware or reflect on their behaviors and their impact on others.

Supply in the Context of Narcissistic Relationships

The concept of "supply" is often discussed in the context of narcissistic relationships. Vaknin's assertion that all people around a narcissist are sources of supply is accurate but can be misleading if taken out of context. Narcissists rely on others for their self-esteem and validation, and they can indeed exploit their loved ones, such as their spouses, for their emotional, financial, or social resources.

However, it's important to understand that not everyone is a "supply" to a narcissist. People with high self-esteem and boundaries can navigate these relationships more effectively. Additionally, many people stay in these relationships for various reasons, including emotional attachment, financial dependence, or a lack of alternatives.

The Role of Empathy in Narcissism

Vaknin's assertion that NPD lacks empathy is more accurate than the portrayal of AI as emotionless. While narcissists often lack empathy for others, they can be highly empathetic when it serves their interests. This dichotomy is a key aspect of their complex psychology and stratagems.

Empathy in narcissists is more about manipulation than genuine emotional connection. They can use empathy to gain sympathy, but this is often a strategic choice. The lack of genuine empathy is one of the hallmarks of NPD, yet it doesn't mean they are devoid of all emotions; they just use their emotional intelligence for personal gain.

Conclusion: A Balanced View of Narcissism

The comparison of narcissists to AI is an interesting and thought-provoking one, but it oversimplifies the complexity of human emotion and psychology. Narcissists, while exhibiting many extreme behaviors, are still highly emotional beings, albeit in a way that prioritizes their own needs and desires.

Understanding narcissistic personality disorder requires a nuanced perspective. While Vaknin's insights provide a valuable framework, it's also crucial to recognize the diversity and complexity of individuals with NPD. Embracing a balanced view helps us better understand and support those struggling with these challenges.