Navigating Disappointment: Understanding and Setting Healthy Expectations

Have you ever felt disappointed by others, only to realize they were not who you thought they were? This is a common experience, and understanding why we encounter such disappointment can help us set healthier expectations and navigate our interactions with others more effectively.

Why People Often Disappoint Us

Everyone seems to wish that the people in their lives live up to their expectations and showcase the qualities they project. However, the truth is that everyone reveals themselves at their own pace. Some people will reveal their true selves sooner than others, while some will take longer.

So, are people generally good or bad, do they have good intentions, or are some better at fooling others? The truth is, people's actions or inactions are more influenced by how we perceive and receive them. It is essential to recognize that we design our own boundaries and reflect on our perceptions. Ultimately, we are the architects of our expectations.

Learning from disappointment can be a valuable lesson. However, it is also important to consider whether we are setting unreasonably high expectations. If we are always looking for people who will surprise us, perhaps we have an inflated sense of entitlement. The reality is that not everyone will meet our inflated expectations, and that should be okay.

Setting Boundaries and Managing Expectations

Failure to meet expectations in others is often a result of unrealistic or too-high standards. A mentor I had once shared that nothing in life disappoints more than people, and he was right. While we cannot control what others do or say, we can control our response to them.

It is crucial not to let others dictate our values, manners, or considerate behavior towards us. However, it is also important to recognize that we shouldn't expect others to live up to the same standards either. Always aim to conduct yourself with wisdom, politeness, and consideration for others. What you think of yourself is more important to others.

Remember, at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself. This can be much harder if you do not live by certain standards, principles, and have a healthy self-regard. Never let anyone bring your standards down. Life teaches us much as we live through it and molds us in our outlook as we go along.

Self-Reflection and Boundaries

Ask yourself, are you sure it is the people or is this a 'you' problem? If people in your life are always letting you down, consider cutting those people out of your life and respecting yourself by setting clear boundaries. Alternatively, set some boundaries for the existing people in your life.

If you are always let down by people or people are always making you feel disappointed, it might be time to gain some independence and not rely on others anymore. Seek support from other people and other places. Send a clear message to these people who don't respect you.

Alternatively, if the issue is that some people are canceling on you from time to time or not following up on plans, remember that people are often going through their own things and might not always be available. They need to take mental breaks because the world is intense right now. People are well within their right to cancel if they do not feel the arrangement at that moment and need to take a break for themselves.

Conclusion

Disappointment is a natural part of life, and it can teach us a lot about ourselves and others. By setting realistic expectations and understanding that people will reveal themselves at their own pace, we can navigate our relationships with a better understanding and a more positive mindset.