Navigating the Outdated Thirst for Reconciliation: Staying No Contact with an Ex Narcissist

“I want to reach out to the ex narcissist but I know I shouldn’t.” You just answered your own question. Now is the time to start doing the things you should do rather than the things you want to do.

Remember Why You Left

Revisiting your reasons for leaving the narcissist is crucial. Remember the ways they treated you and how they contributed to your suffering. By focusing on these aspects, you can reaffirm your resolve to prioritize your own wellbeing. It’s important to hold these memories and emotions in a way that empowers you rather than overwhelms you.

Continuing to Educate Yourself on Narcissism

Knowledge is power, and in the context of dealing with a narcissist, knowledge is especially crucial. Keep educating yourself about narcissistic behavior and the patterns displayed by individuals with this personality disorder. Understanding what to expect and why these behaviors occur can provide clarity and deterrence against falling back into the same cycles of dysfunction. Websites like Quora offer a wealth of information and firsthand experiences that can be highly enlightening.

As I did, it may take time to fully detach yourself from them. In my case, it took at least a year to completely stop thinking about them. This process requires patience and persistence, but it is doable with the right mindset and support.

Handling the Urge to Reconnect

It’s natural for old memories and feelings to resurface. You may find yourself fantasizing about reconnecting with the narcissist. Acknowledge these feelings but resist the urge to act on them. Instead, focus on the healthier alternatives you have chosen. The key is to go through the feelings of addictive withdrawal without actually contacting the narcissist. This process helps you break the cycle and strengthens your resolve.

Supporting Your Decision with Determination and Professional Help

Your journey towards a healthier, no-contact existence will require deep-seated determination and willpower. The betrayal you felt is immense, and overcoming it requires a significant emotional effort. It’s important to handle this trauma with care and support. If you feel you need additional help, consider enlisting the help of a professional. Trauma bonds can be deeply complex, and therapeutic support can provide you with the tools to move forward.

There are numerous programs and resources available that can assist you in this process. For instance, Kim Saeed's Break Free program is one such resource. Programs like this can offer structured guidance and accountability. While these programs can be beneficial, ultimately, the decision to stay no contact with a narcissist falls on you. Only you can truly commit to and enforce this choice.

Remember, the damage a narcissist can inflict on your emotional well-being can be severe, and it’s essential to rebuild your self-esteem and resilience. Every step towards a healthier, no-contact existence is a step towards a more fulfilling life. Keep moving forward, and with time and effort, you can find peace and rid yourself of the toxic relationship.