Noah's Ark: The Divine Instruction and Unusual Animal Requests

God's instruction to Noah to build an ark was a seemingly simple, yet monumental task. The divine plan involved not just the construction of multiple ark vessels, but also the collection and safekeeping of animals. However, God's guidance included some peculiar and humorous requests that shed light on the vast scale of this divine mission.

God's Unusual Instructions

One of the most unique aspects of God's instructions was his suggestion to leave out certain animals. God warned Noah about dragons, exclaiming, "No dragons! Those buggers will set that wood boat alight in a flash; it'll turn in to the worlds largest floating BBQ!" This humorous instruction adds a layer of humor to an otherwise serious and cautious task.

Collecting Animals and Fodder

God instructed Noah to collect animals and their food in a 5 km radius. This task was daunting, as God stated, Don’t worry about the rest. We are going to need upwards of 60, 000 arks to collect even a pair of everything. However, God revealed an even more audacious plan, stating that there would be 59, 999 other arks scattered around the planet. God wanted to give all the accolades to Noah, emphasizing, I’m going to give all the accolades to you. It will save having a long list of credits at the end of Genesis.

Animal Collection and Specifics

In addition to the broad instructions, God provided more detailed guidance. God warned Noah about the elusive and skittish unicorns, tells him to leave them if he ran out of time, emphasizing that God can always make more if necessary. God also clarified on the number of animals to collect: Two of everything but seven pairs of some. This specific detail was necessary so that when future generations read about the ark, the explanation would be vague enough to allow for various interpretations and legends.

Food and Logistical Challenges

Another intriguing aspect of God's instructions was the emphasis on food. God instructed Noah to Go and grab one of every animal. This request quickly spiraled into more specific details about the number of animals, stating that God wanted Two of everything but seven pairs of some. Noah inquired about breeding, and God clarified that animals need to do that and that God uses ribs for something else.

The instructions also included detailed logistics about food. God stated, Food. I mean they’ll all need to eat. The pair were to bring tons and tons of it. Additionally, God instructed Noah to build in adequate waste disposal and ventilation. God humorously acknowledged that building an ark of this size would be a logistical headache and suggested Noah could ask his family for help.

Logistics and Family Involvement

God concluded the instructions by mentioning the extensive materials needed, such as timber, which would be incredibly large in quantity. God also suggested Noah could ask his family to help with the construction, emphasizing that his sons, their wives, and other family members could contribute to the task, making it a doddle.

This humorous and detailed instruction from God provides a fascinating insight into the divine logistics involved in saving the animals and humans during the great flood. The story of Noah's Ark is not just a tale of faith and survival, but also a humorous, detailed account of the extensive planning and preparation required for such a monumental task.