Recognizing the Signs of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Dealing with narcissistic abuse can be a long and arduous journey, but healing is possible. Here, we explore the key signs that indicate progress in your recovery process.

The Slow Healing Process

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a gradual process. It often begins subtly and progresses over time. One common sign of healing is when you notice that the thoughts about the abuser no longer intrude frequently. Initially, you might find yourself fixating on them, but as you progress, the frequency of such thoughts decreases.

Functioning Normally and Reducing Numbing of Emotions

Another important indicator of healing is the ability to function normally and perform everyday tasks without significant emotional distress. Before recovery, you might have struggled with basic activities due to the stress and trauma of the abuse. As you heal, you become more resilient, and your daily life begins to return to normalcy.

Physical and Psychological Healing

A Significant Reduction in Jumpy Feelings

One of the first physical signs of healing is a reduction in your exaggerated startle response. This is often referred to as being "jumpy." For example, I used a therapy method called somatic experiencing, a type of "bottom-up" therapy aimed at releasing trauma from the body. This therapy involves focusing on bodily sensations and emotions to process traumatic experiences. After a few months, I noticed that I no longer felt the constant prickling sensation that accompanied every unexpected sound or movement.

Decrease in Anger and Increased Emotional Resilience

Another significant indicator of healing is a dramatic reduction in anger. When we experience prolonged narcissistic abuse, our body often becomes hyper-aroused, leading to a state of "fight or flight" more frequently. This hyper-arousal can make us overly reactive to minor stressors, almost like a war veteran. As you begin to heal, you'll notice that these emotional responses decrease. I achieved this through a combination of body awareness exercises from somatic experiencing, journaling to understand and sort out my inner world, and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to process traumatic memories. Over time, you'll find that more significant stimuli are required to trigger these strong emotional responses.

Improved Emotional Responses to Past Triggers

The most significant indicator of healing is an overall improvement in emotional responses to previously traumatic stimuli. For example, if pictures of your children or memories associated with the abuser once triggered distress, you'll notice that these memories now bring a sense of peace and joy rather than pain. You might find that you no longer get upset when you encounter these memories, and you start to enjoy your present more than just getting through each day.

Roadblocks and Moving Forward

Healing from narcissistic abuse is not always a linear process. There will be good days and bad, and setbacks are common. However, as you focus on self-care and healing, you'll gradually start to feel better. You might still be triggered occasionally, but your emotional responses will be less intense. It's important to keep moving forward and not to dwell on setbacks.

Ultimately, the path to recovery is unique to each individual. By recognizing the signs of healing and taking steps to address them, you can make significant progress in your journey towards emotional and mental wellness.