Why Do Many Indians Favor Marriage to Working Girls Over Housewives?

India, a land of diverse cultures and traditions, often throws robust challenges in the path of women who aspire to balance career and family. A stark example is the perception and realities surrounding the desire for working girls as brides. This article delves into the reasons behind this societal preference and offers a unique perspective from a chartered accountant who does not wish to be a housewife.

Why Becoming a Housewife Is Considered Overqualified

The journey to a chartered accountancy (CA) or any other professional qualification is long and arduous, often leaving an individual with a valid question: why trade the skills acquired for the staleness of living within a household budget? Even a simple cooking course, baking, sewing, knitting, or even a basic education to teach children could have been a more practical choice. The pursuit of a CA qualification with the intent of managing a household budget certainly feels like overqualification. Thus, it’s not surprising that many professionals hesitate to opt for this path.

Societal Perception and Status

The societal fabric in India is such that being a housewife is often perceived not as a profession but a necessity. This belief has morphed into a status symbol, leading many men to pursue domestic help and manage households themselves. Despite the recognition that simpler graduates may excel in managing a house, the allure of a status associated with a higher qualification persists.

The Flip Side: The Realities of Life

However, the stark reality is that many families prefer that neither the husband nor the wife dedicates their entire life to working because both the husband and wife’s jobs might be necessary to support their family. Often, the spouse who steps back from a career is expected to take care of the children, leaving behind a sense of personal fulfillment. The ultimate price of this choice is seeing more of their wealth going into healthcare, insurance, and unexpected expenses rather than personal growth or financial independence.

The Value of a Housewife

It’s often asserted that a housewife is above a working wife because of the additional responsibility of nurturing and caring for a family. This perspective aligns with traditional views that emphasize the value of lifetime dedication to family rather than career. Interestingly, the contribution of a working mother is rarely questioned; her time and energy benefit all family members, even if it may seem less noticed.

Real-World Implications

Considering the unpredictability of life, what happens when a family faces adversities such as a job loss, illness, or worse? If a working woman becomes a housewife, she might struggle to find employment, especially in the initial stages where pay is meager. The competition for jobs among professionals like CAs can be fierce, and finding a suitable position without suitable experience can be challenging.

Advice for Aspiring Housewives

Those who seek to become housewives, regardless of their professional qualifications, should re-evaluate their choices. The advice often given is to value oneself more by seeking financial independence. Working, even if it means starting as a housewife, provides not only a financial cushion but also a sense of pride and accomplishment that extends to one’s children. Working helps set a positive example for kids, teaching them the value of hard work and financial responsibility.

Conclusion

The dilemma of choosing between a career and a home in India is multifaceted. While traditional views and societal pressures may favor the status symbol and the stereotype of a stay-at-home wife, it's important to critically examine the practical implications of each choice. Seeking financial independence and contributing to the household as a working partner can offer a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle.