Understanding and Addressing Early Childhood Aggression: Causes and Solutions

Psychology teaches us that frustration leads to aggression. This is a straightforward answer. However, it is equally easy to attribute this aggression in children to high levels of testosterone in boys compared to girls. But, the complexities of aggression rooted in a generalized state of anger in children make the issue significantly more daunting. Historically, we have attributed the root causes of overly aggressive behavior in children to a myriad of factors including genetics, God’s will, Satan, reincarnation, poor diet, and poor brain wiring, with some even blaming the incompetent parent who might say, 'My kid was just born that way.'

While such factors may play a role, I would argue that aggression, particularly when it manifests as anger, is a developed trait rather than a inherent one. Children are not born with anger issues—they are made angry, often as a result of their environment and interactions. Anger, in this context, serves as a survival mechanism, a countermeasure against self-preservation.

The Development of Anger and Aggression in Children

Punishments, a common form of discipline, often lead to a sense of insecurity, which in turn can lead to anger. This anger is not a natural state but a by-product of insecurity. If the fear of punishment and the insecurity it brings does not completely subdue a child, it might manifest as anger. Additionally, punishments contribute to diminished self-esteem or self-worth. It is generally accepted that low self-esteem and insecurity correlate with anger. These associations are abundantly evident in our daily interactions, and can be particularly observed in the development of anger issues in children.

Children are social beings who require a sense of being loved and accepted. A failure to meet these emotional needs can lead to a generalized state of anger, resentment, and hostility. If a parent or caregiver does not adequately satisfy these fundamental emotional needs, the child’s view of themselves and their place in the world can become deeply flawed. Unloved, children often feel inadequate, unworthy, and lack confidence in their abilities or their value as a person. This lack of love and acceptance can transform their perception of the world into a fearsome place.

Elevated sensitivity to rejection and other perceived signs of unworthiness may lead to fear reactions manifesting as anger. These fears intensify when parental refusals or restrictions are perceived as threats to the child’s well-being. Tantrums, a common expression of anger in children, are a prime example of this fear being channeled into anger. Anger, in this context, is a direct result of fear and frustration—stressors that threaten a child’s sense of well-being.

Addressing Anger in Children: A Path to Emotional Well-being

The fear that drives anger in children often leads them to a point where they may succumb to fear and become broken-spirited, adopting a slave mentality of submission. This can result in subjugation as a means to avoid physical pain or harsh disapproval. Addressing this anger should be approached with immediate concern and consternation. We should address and acknowledge our hurt or sorrow rather than allowing it to transform into anger that can lead to a desire for retribution.

Understanding whether there are appropriate ways to express anger is complex. We may elect to express it or suppress it, either of which can have significant pitfalls. We learn throughout our lives how to express our anger, but suppress it at our own peril. The best approach is to avoid the causes of anger in the first place. Emotional pain caused by negative interactions can trigger feelings of anger. Ultimately, anger often leaves us feeling irrational and helpless, especially when dealing with children.

Conclusion

Addressing anger and aggression in children requires a deep understanding of their emotional needs and the environment that shapes them. By ensuring these needs are met with love and acceptance, we can mitigate the development of anger issues. Recognizing and addressing the root causes of anger, rather than simply reacting to its manifestations, is crucial for the well-being of both children and those around them.