Why a Mother-in-Law Might Not Give Freedom to a Daughter-in-Law as She Does to Her Own Daughter

The relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is often a complex and sensitive topic, influenced by a multitude of cultural, social, and personal factors. Understanding why a mother-in-law might not give the same level of freedom to a daughter-in-law as she does to her own daughter can help in fostering a more harmonious and respectful relationship.

Cultural Expectations

In many cultures, traditional roles and expectations deeply influence the behavior of women within family settings. These cultural norms can place restrictions on how a daughter-in-law should behave, leading a mother-in-law to feel that the daughter-in-law must adhere to certain family standards and norms.

Protectiveness

Motherly instincts often drive a mother to want the best for her children. A mother-in-law might feel a stronger urge to protect her son’s partner, and hence may exhibit more oversight and restrictions, ensuring that the daughter-in-law is integrated well into the family dynamics.

Lack of Familiarity

A mother-in-law may not share the same level of familiarity and understanding with her daughter-in-law as she does with her own daughter. This unfamiliarity can lead to apprehension and a tendency to maintain control over certain aspects of the daughter-in-law's life.

Power Dynamics

Family structures can often create power imbalances. A mother-in-law might feel that she has a more significant role in guiding or managing her daughter-in-law’s choices, especially if she believes herself to be the household authority.

Personal Experiences

A mother-in-law’s own experiences and upbringing can shape her views on marriage and family life. If she experienced restrictions herself, she might unconsciously replicate those same dynamics with her daughter-in-law. This can lead to a more critical or controlling attitude towards the daughter-in-law’s behavior.

Fear of Change

Introducing a new daughter-in-law can create anxiety about how family dynamics will shift. A mother-in-law may resist giving more freedom as a way to maintain stability and avoid altering established family norms.

Comparison

At times, mothers-in-law may compare their daughters and daughter-in-laws, leading to biased expectations. This comparison can result in a perception that the daughter-in-law needs more guidance or restrictions, mirroring her mother's experiences or standards.

These factors can vary widely based on individual personalities and family contexts. Open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to understand and accommodate each other's differences can often help bridge the gaps and create a more understanding relationship between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.