Would Trump-Chartered Vessels Succeed in the Navy Fleet?

The tradition of naming aircraft carriers after US presidents is a significant part of the American naval heritage. However, many have proposed interesting alternatives if given the chance to name one after Donald Trump. Would a ship crewed by novices, deer hunters, and college students make it in?

The Vessel: A Parody of Trump's Presidency

Imagine a ship that could be named after Trump if such a vessel existed. It would be permanently tied up to a pier. The irony of this option is that in the Trump Cabinet, only individuals who loathed the government managed to join, and the same principle would apply to the crew. The ship would be crewed by people who had no idea how to operate an aircraft carrier. This would include:

Forty percent of the crew would be in the Army Ten percent would be officers of the National Rifle Association (NRA) Ten percent would be the student body of Liberty University The rest would be deer hunters from Montana

All of these individuals are nice enough people with good intentions. However, the fact that none of them had even seen an aircraft carrier before being assigned to work on one would be going against them. This ship would spend a month swabbing the decks and eating to commemorate its glory days. Eventually, Navy headquarters would rename it the USS Richard Nixon, after a man who was 1 nowhere near as crooked as Trump and 2 a Navy veteran of World War II who was religiously exempt from service but believed it the right thing to do.

Restaffed with trained and experienced sailors, the ship would take its place in the fleet, showcasing the absurdity and irony of the initial proposal.

Alternative Naming Proposal: Naval Air Engineering Station Lakehurst

Another interesting idea would be to name the former Naval Air Engineering Station Lakehurst in honor of President Trump. Located in New Jersey, NAES Lakehurst is the historic site where a Zeppelin went down in flames. Would a new structure built here, the Dumb Dumb Class, also meet a tragic end?

The Dumb Dumb Class would be a vessel so poorly designed that it would sink as soon as it is put in the water. The project would entail building only a single vessel that would sit at the bottom of the ocean off the coast of Virginia or Maine as an artificial reef. This would give Trump a chance to do something good with his life, promoting and helping marine life.

Future divers, however, would have a difficult time not cracking up while exploring the reef. Imagine the following exchange:

Diver 1: Man that reef is almost as big as his ass.
Diver 2: You want to join me for a covfefe later.
Diver 3: Is it just me or is the marine life starting to look like Trump? Yeesh!

The Dumb Dumb Class project is a humorous yet poignant commentary on the state of design and engineering under the Trump administration.

Conclusion: Naming a Ship After Trump?

It is unlikely that the Navy will ever name a vessel after Donald Trump. Given his prosecution and potential imprisonment for criminal acts such as obstruction of justice, witness tampering, and profiting personally from his office, it would bring shame upon the service and those who serve within it. The idea of naming a ship after Trump is more of a satirical proposal than a realistic suggestion.

The idea of naming a ship after Trump can serve as a dark and humorous commentary on his tenure as President, both for those in the Navy and for the general public. While it might seem like a comedic suggestion, it highlights the serious issues and controversies that the administration faced.